Welcome to the official 'Family Guy' best song contest, here's our contestants;
1. My God This House Is Freakin' Sweet!
HK:we only live to kiss your ***
B:kiss it why well even wipe it for you.
HK: forem here on in its easy street
P: any bars on that street?
B: twenty four happy hours a day
P:oh boy
HK: well stop jehovas at the gate
B: can i see that pamphlet sir?
*SLAP*
J:oww
P:my god this house if freakin sweet
Chef 1: i make brunch, clyde cooks lunch
Chef 1&2: each and every day
Chef 3: chocalate cak A la blake
P: hundred bucks blake is gay
HK: well do the best we can with meg
M: you saying im ugly?
M: it doesnt matter dear your rich now
HK:well do your nails and rub your feet
L: i dont think thats necces- oooo my
HK: well do your Homework every night
C: its really hard
B: thats why weve got that steven hawkings guy
P: my god this house is freakin sweet
P: used to pass lots of gas, lois ran away, now we,ve got 30 rooms,
hello beans good by spray.
HK wed take a bullet just for you
S: what a coinicidence, ive got one
L: stewie
HK: prepare to suck that golden teat
now that your stinking rich well gladly be your *****
P: my god this house is
HK&P: freakin sweet
HK: welcome
M:thats a wrap people, now lets get the hell outta here
P: hey wait a second where are you goin?
M: the old bag only paid us throught the song
L: well we can just pick up after ourselves, after all well only be here
on weekends
P: no no lois its time you started livin like the pieceashmit(piece of shmit)
you are
L: thats pewtershmit
P: Wait You guys, You guys Your all hired to be full time
Griffin servants
L: peter where are we goin to get the money to pay all these people
P: simple...I....uh...sold our house in quahog
L: you sold our home?
P: surprise
L: peter how could you
P: i recognize that tone, tonight i sleep alone but still this
HK&P: house is freeeeeaaaakin sweet
2. Can't Touch Me
Can't touch me!
(MC hammer's Can't Touch This)
Ju-ju-ju-ju-just like that bad guy
From Lethal Weapon 2
I've got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer, you can't sue
(can't touch me)
I can write graffiti, even jaywalk in the street
I can riot, loot, not give a hoot
and touch your sister's teat (can't touch me)
("can't touch me"in the background)
Mayor: What in God's name is he doing?
Cleveland: I believe that's the worm.
Stop! Peter-time!
I'm a big shot, there's no doubt
Light a fire and pee it out
Don't like it, kiss my rump
Just for a minute let's all do the Bump
I'm Presidential Peter, interns think I'm hot
Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot
I've been around the world, from Hartford to Back Bay
It's Peter, go Peter, MC Peter, yo Peter, let's see Regis rap this way
(Can't touch me)
3. Give It Up, Give Up The Toad Now
You'll get chills all through your body
and you'll lose all control of your bladder
and your sphincter, that's your bum hole.
'Cos if you use toad, then I'm telling you...
You can kiss your life goodbye.
Yeah when you use toad,
It will mess you up.
It will make your mama cry
That's no lie,
You'll choke on your tounge and die
You've got to give it up
You got to give up the toad now
It's no joke buddy, give it up
You got to give up the toad now
Or you'll croke
You've got to give it up,
And don't smoke
Or you will see,
It hurts to pee
There'll be blood, gushing from ya
Everytime that you cough
And forget getting lucky,
It falls off
Yeah you'd better wise up
'Cos I'm telling you
Toad is only meant for bins
Got to give it all up
Or you're gonna see
Your whole life will hit the skids
And your kids will be born without eyelids
You've got to give it up
You got to give up the toad now
Thanks to you
And just give it up
Give up the toad now (line sung by Brian)
Thanks to you
Give it up
Got to give up the toad now, Oh-oh-oooh
I'm no fool, Lando's cool
YEAH!!!
4. I Need A Jew...
Peter:
Nothing else has worked so far,
So I’ll wish upon a star,
Wondrous sparkling speck of light,
I need a Jew...
Lois makes me take the rap,
Because our checkbook looks like crap,
Since I can't give her a slap,
I need a Jew...
Where to find
A bum or stien or stein
To teach me how to whine
And do my taxes...
Though by many they're abhorred,
Hebrew people I’ve adored,
Even though they killed my lord,
I need a Jew!
Max:
Hi, my name's Max Weinstein,
my car just broke down,
can I use you phone?
Peter:
Now my troubles are all through
I have a Jew!
Max:
Hey!
There you have it folks, to vote call 0800-752-926 and state the number and reason. Or you could just post. You're call.
disclaimer: all lyrics were taken from http://www.lyricsbox.com/family-guy-lyrics-qpgv8.html
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Can't touch me
then he look at the girl and says
"except you, you can touch me"
then he look at the girl and says
"except you, you can touch me"
lmao i remeber that one...lmao
Quote:
lmao i remeber that one...lmao
That was a bit random, which one?
We're all random from the EQoA forums..really.
Yes i do agree.Can't touch me wins.it is much funnier to actually see and hear it.The music and peter's movements add to teh comedy.
Theres more songs than just those ones arent there... (like i think there is a better one than all of those)
Anyway my vote goes to Cant touch this.
Anyway my vote goes to Cant touch this.
i need a jew by far is the best
Lmao!! =D these are great keep em coming ^_^
Round Two: Stewie
1. You Make Me Feel So Young
You make me feel so young.
You make me feel that spring has sprung.
And everytime I see you grin.
Oh, I'm such a happy individual.
The moment that you speak.
I want to go and play Hide n Seek.
I want to go bounce the moon,
just like a big toy balloon.
Darling you and I, are just like a couple of tots.
Running across a meadow, picking up lots of Forget-Me-Nots.
You make me feel so young.
You make me feel there are songs to be sung.
Bells to be rung, and a wonderful fling to be flung.
Even when I'm old and grey, I'm gonna feel the way i do today.
Because you make me feel so young.
2. Stewie's Banjo Madness
Warm out today
Warm Yesterday
Even warmer today
Met her on my CB
Said her name was Mimi
Sounded like an angel come to earth(come to earth)
When I went to meet her
Man you shoulda seen her
Twice as tall as me three times the girth(times the girth)
Oh my fat baby loves to eat(loves to eat)
A big ol' bhudda-belly and her breasts swing past her feet(past her feet)
My fat baby loves to eeeaaat
My big old fat *** baby loves to eat
I got blisters on me fingers!!
3. I'm The Greatest Captain
S: I’m the greatest captain in the queens navy
All but S: And your record will stand as true
S: Be it a galleon or a freighter, I’m an excellent navigator
All but S: And even a world class puff
S: My manor quite defeat is mistaken on the street for a sailor who can pilloette-on-que but dispite your point-of-view, I can thrill the girl or two, but I’d rather get it on with you
All: hahaha
4. Rocketman
(Stewie speaking):
She packed my bags, last night,
pre-flight, zero hour, 9am.
And I'm gonna be high
As a kite by then.
(Stewie Singing):
And I think it's gonna a be a long long time
till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home,
Oh no, no, no, I'm a rocket man.
Rocket man burning out his fuse out here
alone.
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
till touch down brings me round again to find,
I'm not the man they think I am at home,
Oh no no no I'm a rock-et-man.
Rocket man burning out his fuse out here
alone.
1. You Make Me Feel So Young
You make me feel so young.
You make me feel that spring has sprung.
And everytime I see you grin.
Oh, I'm such a happy individual.
The moment that you speak.
I want to go and play Hide n Seek.
I want to go bounce the moon,
just like a big toy balloon.
Darling you and I, are just like a couple of tots.
Running across a meadow, picking up lots of Forget-Me-Nots.
You make me feel so young.
You make me feel there are songs to be sung.
Bells to be rung, and a wonderful fling to be flung.
Even when I'm old and grey, I'm gonna feel the way i do today.
Because you make me feel so young.
2. Stewie's Banjo Madness
Warm out today
Warm Yesterday
Even warmer today
Met her on my CB
Said her name was Mimi
Sounded like an angel come to earth(come to earth)
When I went to meet her
Man you shoulda seen her
Twice as tall as me three times the girth(times the girth)
Oh my fat baby loves to eat(loves to eat)
A big ol' bhudda-belly and her breasts swing past her feet(past her feet)
My fat baby loves to eeeaaat
My big old fat *** baby loves to eat
I got blisters on me fingers!!
3. I'm The Greatest Captain
S: I’m the greatest captain in the queens navy
All but S: And your record will stand as true
S: Be it a galleon or a freighter, I’m an excellent navigator
All but S: And even a world class puff
S: My manor quite defeat is mistaken on the street for a sailor who can pilloette-on-que but dispite your point-of-view, I can thrill the girl or two, but I’d rather get it on with you
All: hahaha
4. Rocketman
(Stewie speaking):
She packed my bags, last night,
pre-flight, zero hour, 9am.
And I'm gonna be high
As a kite by then.
(Stewie Singing):
And I think it's gonna a be a long long time
till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home,
Oh no, no, no, I'm a rocket man.
Rocket man burning out his fuse out here
alone.
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
till touch down brings me round again to find,
I'm not the man they think I am at home,
Oh no no no I'm a rock-et-man.
Rocket man burning out his fuse out here
alone.
It is Tied between My God This House Is Freakin' Sweet! and I Need A Jew...
But if i had to choose.
I Need a Jew
But if i had to choose.
I Need a Jew
you make me feel so young
For round one cant touch this was the funniest song. But for a stewie song, the one sung with brian on the train back home after buring brians mother was his funniest, or the one they sang in the middleeast to steal the camel.
Quote:
But for a stewie song, the one sung with brian on the train back home after buring brians mother was his funniest, or the one they sang in the middleeast to steal the camel.
I was going to include them but they'll be in the next round, duo's ^^
Round One: Can't Touch This
Round Two: Stewie's Banjo Madness
Round Two: Stewie's Banjo Madness
If its the uncut version of I Need a Jew, it takes the cake. That's the song that got them kicked from fox :)
I don't think 'I Need A Jew' was aired in it's full form but these are the real lyrics ^^
1. My God This House Is Freakin' Sweet!
Scholar
33 posts
Im so glad fox is putting this show back on the air. ^^
PUT a NEW round IN!!!
Round 3: Duo's
1. Brian Wallows
Lois:
Brian, your standards are ridiculously high.
You will never find a girl unless you're willing to make exceptions
and compromise so you can find your love.
Brian:
Lois, I don't think I have to compromise a thing.
I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't get me.
Oh and how long has the coffee been on the burner in the kitchen?
I could really use a cup about now.
Lois:
Oh it's not very fresh. You see I meant to make more
But I made the mistake of getting caught up watching Oprah
She had on James Garner
Brian:
James Garner, what's he plugging?
Lois:
I don't know; some crappy movie on TNT
2. You Do!
(stewie) a 5, 6,7,8!
(stewie) who's got the greates gal around?
(olivia) you do. who's got the sweetest man in town?
(stewie) you do.
(olivia) who's got a guy who makes her smile all day?
(stewie) by the way, i'm not so bad to look at either.
(olivia) whos got the guy with all the brains?
(stewie)you do. who's got the girl who loves chow mein?
(olivia)you do.
(stewie)who's got the greatest love in the world?
(olivia) you do.
(stewie) and you do!
(both) thank goodness I got you!
(olivia) who's got a guy to tell her jokes?
(stewie) you do. who's got a girl to show the fokes?
(olivia) you do
(stewie) who's got a girl he'd like to one day undress?
(olivia) give it a rest! I told you not until we're married.
(stewie) who's got the girl with all the snaz?
(olivia) you do. who's got the fella with pizaz?
(stewie) you do. who's got the greatest love in the world?
(olivia) you do.
(stewie) and you do.
(both) thank goodness i got you!
3. Road To Rhode Island
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're having the time of our lives.
(Stewie) (Take it dog...)
(Brian) We're quite a pair of partners,
Just Like Thelma and Louise.
'cept you're not six feet tall
(Stewie) Yes, and your breasts don't reach your knees.
(Brian) (Give it time.)
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island,
We're certainly going in style.
(Brian) I'm with an intellectual, who craps inside his pants.
(Stewie) How dare you. At least I don't leave urine stains on all the household plants.
(Brian) (Oh, pee jokes)
(Both) We've traveled a bit and we've found,
Like a ********* in Newport we're Rhode Island bound.
((Brian) Crazy travel conditions, huh?
(Stewie) First class or no class
(Brian) Whoa, careful with that joke, it's an antique)
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're not going to stop until we're there
(Brian) Maybe for a beer.
(Brian) Whatever dangers we may face, we'll never fear or cry
(Stewie) That's right, until we're syndicated Fox will never let us die. (Please!)
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island,
The home of that old campus swing.
(Brian) We may pick up some college girls, and picnic on the grass.
(Stewie) We'd tell you more, but we'd have the censors on our ***.
(Brian) (Yikes!)
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We certainly do get around.
Like a bunch of renegade pilgrims
Who are thrown out of Plymouth colony.
We're Rhode Island bound.
Or like a group of college freshmen
who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown!
We're Rhode Island Bound..
(fade out)
4. You And I are
* = Talking
Both-
You and I are
So awfully different
Too awfully different
To ever be palls
Stewie- *Do you want to go first?*
Brian- *Yeah I’ll go*
Brian- Your favorite hero is the Marquee de Sad
Stewie- *Oh you're one to talk,* You get a stiffy from Phylicia Rashad
Brian- *Oh one time*
Stewie- I’ve a style flair, just look at my hip hair
Brian- *Oh yeah, that’s quite a nice do there*
Stewie- *Oh thanks*
Brian- *FOR ME TO **** ON*
Stewie- *What?*
Brian- *Oh come on you look like Charlie brown*
Stewie- *Bite me snoopy*
Both-
Theres not,
A whole lot,
That weve got
To agree on
Brian- ‘Cause I like the strains of a classical score
Stewie- And I like that singer who looks like a *****
Brian- *Rickie Martin?*
Stewie- *Luv’ ‘em.*
Both-
Were too different to ever be palls
Both-
You and I are
(doo doo doop)
So awfully different
(doo doo doop)
Too awfully different
(doo doo doop)
To ever be palls
(doo doo doo doo doo doo dooyadoo doop)
Brian- Your head’s as massive as a meteorite
Stewie- *Oh very funny,* You have a weenie like a Christmas tree light
Brian- I’d bet money
You’ll marry a honey
Who’s pretty and funny
And her name will be Ted
Stewie- *Oh a gay joke*
Brian- *I just work with what you give me*
Brian- Because you get a kick out of carnage and guts
Stewie- And you get a kick out of stroking your-
Brian- *Whoa, whoa, you can’t say that on T.V.*
Stewie- *What ego?*
Brian- *Nevermind*
Both-
We’re too different to ever be palls!
1. Brian Wallows
Lois:
Brian, your standards are ridiculously high.
You will never find a girl unless you're willing to make exceptions
and compromise so you can find your love.
Brian:
Lois, I don't think I have to compromise a thing.
I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't get me.
Oh and how long has the coffee been on the burner in the kitchen?
I could really use a cup about now.
Lois:
Oh it's not very fresh. You see I meant to make more
But I made the mistake of getting caught up watching Oprah
She had on James Garner
Brian:
James Garner, what's he plugging?
Lois:
I don't know; some crappy movie on TNT
2. You Do!
(stewie) a 5, 6,7,8!
(stewie) who's got the greates gal around?
(olivia) you do. who's got the sweetest man in town?
(stewie) you do.
(olivia) who's got a guy who makes her smile all day?
(stewie) by the way, i'm not so bad to look at either.
(olivia) whos got the guy with all the brains?
(stewie)you do. who's got the girl who loves chow mein?
(olivia)you do.
(stewie)who's got the greatest love in the world?
(olivia) you do.
(stewie) and you do!
(both) thank goodness I got you!
(olivia) who's got a guy to tell her jokes?
(stewie) you do. who's got a girl to show the fokes?
(olivia) you do
(stewie) who's got a girl he'd like to one day undress?
(olivia) give it a rest! I told you not until we're married.
(stewie) who's got the girl with all the snaz?
(olivia) you do. who's got the fella with pizaz?
(stewie) you do. who's got the greatest love in the world?
(olivia) you do.
(stewie) and you do.
(both) thank goodness i got you!
3. Road To Rhode Island
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're having the time of our lives.
(Stewie) (Take it dog...)
(Brian) We're quite a pair of partners,
Just Like Thelma and Louise.
'cept you're not six feet tall
(Stewie) Yes, and your breasts don't reach your knees.
(Brian) (Give it time.)
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island,
We're certainly going in style.
(Brian) I'm with an intellectual, who craps inside his pants.
(Stewie) How dare you. At least I don't leave urine stains on all the household plants.
(Brian) (Oh, pee jokes)
(Both) We've traveled a bit and we've found,
Like a ********* in Newport we're Rhode Island bound.
((Brian) Crazy travel conditions, huh?
(Stewie) First class or no class
(Brian) Whoa, careful with that joke, it's an antique)
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're not going to stop until we're there
(Brian) Maybe for a beer.
(Brian) Whatever dangers we may face, we'll never fear or cry
(Stewie) That's right, until we're syndicated Fox will never let us die. (Please!)
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island,
The home of that old campus swing.
(Brian) We may pick up some college girls, and picnic on the grass.
(Stewie) We'd tell you more, but we'd have the censors on our ***.
(Brian) (Yikes!)
(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We certainly do get around.
Like a bunch of renegade pilgrims
Who are thrown out of Plymouth colony.
We're Rhode Island bound.
Or like a group of college freshmen
who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown!
We're Rhode Island Bound..
(fade out)
4. You And I are
* = Talking
Both-
You and I are
So awfully different
Too awfully different
To ever be palls
Stewie- *Do you want to go first?*
Brian- *Yeah I’ll go*
Brian- Your favorite hero is the Marquee de Sad
Stewie- *Oh you're one to talk,* You get a stiffy from Phylicia Rashad
Brian- *Oh one time*
Stewie- I’ve a style flair, just look at my hip hair
Brian- *Oh yeah, that’s quite a nice do there*
Stewie- *Oh thanks*
Brian- *FOR ME TO **** ON*
Stewie- *What?*
Brian- *Oh come on you look like Charlie brown*
Stewie- *Bite me snoopy*
Both-
Theres not,
A whole lot,
That weve got
To agree on
Brian- ‘Cause I like the strains of a classical score
Stewie- And I like that singer who looks like a *****
Brian- *Rickie Martin?*
Stewie- *Luv’ ‘em.*
Both-
Were too different to ever be palls
Both-
You and I are
(doo doo doop)
So awfully different
(doo doo doop)
Too awfully different
(doo doo doop)
To ever be palls
(doo doo doo doo doo doo dooyadoo doop)
Brian- Your head’s as massive as a meteorite
Stewie- *Oh very funny,* You have a weenie like a Christmas tree light
Brian- I’d bet money
You’ll marry a honey
Who’s pretty and funny
And her name will be Ted
Stewie- *Oh a gay joke*
Brian- *I just work with what you give me*
Brian- Because you get a kick out of carnage and guts
Stewie- And you get a kick out of stroking your-
Brian- *Whoa, whoa, you can’t say that on T.V.*
Stewie- *What ego?*
Brian- *Nevermind*
Both-
We’re too different to ever be palls!
damn you double post, damn you!!
Edited, Mon Aug 23 11:19:21 2004 by walkerscrisps
Edited, Mon Aug 23 11:19:21 2004 by walkerscrisps
This one is the toughest one to decide on. Im gonna go with...
Road to Rhode Island
Road to Rhode Island
<-really likes You and I the most for no particular reason. ^-^
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