A few jokes you may likeFollow

And now one from me,

O man I love cookies, yea milk and cookies. I think they advertise it a little to much. I mean who are they targeting with this campaign. People oblivious to this drink. Just sitting in front of there T.V. "O yeah that would go good with a cookie."


And be sure to check out Last Comic Standing 3, im not advertising the show I just truly love it. Starts on NBC the monday right after the Olympics.

Were there supposed to be jokes here?

After giving a speech at an elementary school, President Bush lets the kids ask questions.
"How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the U.N.?" asks one boy.
Just as Bush begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they'l continue afterward. Half an hour later the kids come back in.
"Where were we?" says George. "Oh, yes -- does anyone want to ask me anything?"
A different boy raises his hand and says, "I have three questions: First, whey did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.? Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And, lastly, where the hell is Billy?"

Guess, what, Genius? You're not the only one in the country who has cable.

Already saw em and they were mildly funny when performed on stage by someone with talent. You, my furry little friend, are not on stage, and well......

Not funny.

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM : Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.


SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

say two Hail Marys!

I have a bottomless hole of jokes at my disposal. I don't particularly like some of them, but others seem to.

What did the Fish say when it swam into a wall?

Damm
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Two muffins are cooking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Is it hot in here, or what?" The other muffin says "Holy S*it, a talking muffin!"
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What is brown and sicky?

A stick.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?
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Only true geeks will get this one:

e^x and a constant are walking down the street. They turn into a dark alley, and a derivative operator jumps out of the shadows and blocks their path.
"Oh no," says the constant, "He's going to turn me into nothing!"

"It's okay," says e^x, "I'm e^x and I'm not afraid of derivative operators. They can't harm me."

So, e^x walks down the alley and greets the derivative operator, "Hi, I'm e^x."

And the derivative operator replies, "Hi, I'm d/dy."