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Existential CrisisFollow

#1 Oct 13 2012 at 4:03 AM Rating: Good
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So, the first time this came up for me, I was about 13-14. I think that's probably the age everyone starts thinking about death, I don't know. For some reason, I've started slipping back into this state of mind, and I'm not sure where to go from here.

To sum up this in a nutshell, here's a handy flowchart: What's the meaning of life? > Is there something afterwards? > Oh **** I'm going to die one day > Crippling anxiety, non-stop thoughts of death and/or dying.

I've started to question everything, I mean, what's the point of it? Does my relationship really matter to me? Do I love the people around me? Do they love me?

I've pushed past the non-stop anxiety spiral, for the most part. It still feels like it's lurking beneath the surface, though.

I know other people have probably experienced things like this before. I don't like opening myself up like this and being vulnerable, but I have no idea what to do. So, help?
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#2 Oct 13 2012 at 4:55 AM Rating: Excellent
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I've never had a fear of death, plenty of other (often equally irrational) fears but not death, so this is somewhat of an alien concept to me. If anything I've always had a fascination with death, not that I'm in any hurry to die (that can wait another 50-60 years) but I'd say I'm more curious than anxious about the whole deal. And for the record I'm not religious so I don't really think there will be anything after death but if there is, we'll see what it is when the moment comes.

Anyway, I think I've always simply accepted it as a part of life. There's a beginning so there has to be an end as well and I think that's a good thing, it'd all get rather frustrating if life never stopped I think.

As far as the anxiety goes, it isn't worth doubting everything else in your life over. Although I'm not of all that much use for helping you fight it, I need a psychologist to help me deal with my own set of anxieties. And a cat, petting my cat really helps cheer me up.
#3 Oct 13 2012 at 5:54 AM Rating: Excellent
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Can't help. Anytime I think about death honestly, it lasts all of 2 mins before I say ********** it, can't control it so live in the now."
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#4 Oct 13 2012 at 8:55 AM Rating: Good
Once I realized there was no magical being in the sky orchestrating this grand ride we call life, I began to ponder death itself, and over the years, I've convinced myself that it's simply like pulling the plug on an electronic device. The device still exists, but without that power, it will never awake again. It has no awareness of its own state or environment, and barring intervention, will never spring to life again, left only to sit idly by and collect dust and take up space.

I think, when we die, that's it. There is no spiritual progression or afterlife. We simply cease to exist. The human body is little more than a self-powered electrical appliance. Our self-awareness is a merely a by-product of advanced reasoning and intellect. For this reason, I do not fear death. What I do fear is a premature death. I don't want to leave certain things in my life unfinished when I die, and there are certain people in my life I'm sure I've not spent enough time with. Losing those people and leaving unfinished tasks behind is my only fear.

And so I live life with that purpose in mind. I aim, not to leave behind any legacy or change the world around me, but simply to finish my chores, relax a little, and enjoy the time I spend with the few friends and family I have left.
#5 Oct 13 2012 at 10:04 AM Rating: Good
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I had pretty much the same experience. Occasional mortality anxiety since the teenage years, but was able to keep it to fleeting moments. Sometime around age 27, out of nowhere, I got stuck in a feedback loop for like a month, where it was all I could think about. Which caused some depression as well.

Therapy helps. Taking a xanax if an anxiety attack happens. Daily exercise. Doing as many social activities as possible. I also have a long commute, which is a breeding ground for negative thoughts, so I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts.
#6 Oct 13 2012 at 11:40 AM Rating: Good
Lie to yourself.

If it's tough going it alone, you could always try religion.
#7 Oct 13 2012 at 12:41 PM Rating: Excellent
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#8 Oct 13 2012 at 2:18 PM Rating: Good
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trickybeck wrote:

I had pretty much the same experience. Occasional mortality anxiety since the teenage years, but was able to keep it to fleeting moments. Sometime around age 27, out of nowhere, I got stuck in a feedback loop for like a month, where it was all I could think about. Which caused some depression as well.

Therapy helps. Taking a xanax if an anxiety attack happens. Daily exercise. Doing as many social activities as possible. I also have a long commute, which is a breeding ground for negative thoughts, so I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts.

I am finding that plenty of social interaction helps actually.

I've read that an active lifestyle can help with depression and such before. I should look into that. I could stand to lose a few kilos.

Thanks for the replies.

Edited, Oct 13th 2012 4:19pm by Nilatai
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#9 Oct 13 2012 at 3:04 PM Rating: Good
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It's strange, but most times I have similar thought processes, they always start with thinking about transporter technology. I mean, the thing disintegrates you and makes a new copy with an identical brain pattern.

**** that.
#10 Oct 13 2012 at 3:16 PM Rating: Decent
Nilatai wrote:
I've read that an active lifestyle can help with depression and such before.


Also, no matter how ard people try to convince themselves, social interaction via the internet cannot replace face-to-face conversation. Simply being with someone can help alleviate mood issues.
#11 Oct 13 2012 at 4:33 PM Rating: Good
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Ugly has the best solution. Tricky has the best methodology.

Doing so, the questions will still nag on you every so often. Living happily with nagging pain is possible, and many people do it.
#12 Oct 13 2012 at 5:06 PM Rating: Decent
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I've read that an active lifestyle can help with depression and such before.


Hasn't anyone ever told you not to run from your problems?
#13 Oct 13 2012 at 5:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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Nilatai wrote:

I've read that an active lifestyle can help with depression and such before. I should look into that.
^
This.

Find some organization you'd like to help and volunteer. Social interaction + concentrating your efforts on someone/something besides yourself = win.
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#14 Oct 13 2012 at 6:31 PM Rating: Decent
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For some reason whenever I watch old tv shows/movies of actors that are long gone (Especially old Black and White's) I get this feeling.
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#15 Oct 13 2012 at 9:07 PM Rating: Good
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I use to be the same way. I still am, kind of, because I really don't believe anything I am about to say.

To sum things up, I like to believe the things we do in life are to prepare us for what comes next.

I think of it like Plato's Republic. The life we see here is like the shadows cast on the wall of the cave... to some extent. Death would be like coming unchained from the shadow viewing chair mechanism and leaving said cave-- into an existence previously unfathomable to us.

I think that if one were to die immediately at birth, that person's collective experience in life would be very weak and would result in them being immediately re-absorbed into ...something... a big well of life energy perhaps. A person who lives a long and meaningful life would have a strong presence here. I think of it like life's giant Debug room, where one can revisit any moment of their life and every alternate outcome possible for as long as they like, and explore every "what if" scenario, as well as explore all of their fantasies and nightmares they have had in life-like detail. When all that is finished, one enters a phase of healing and purification. I dunno. Maybe.
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#16 Oct 13 2012 at 9:26 PM Rating: Decent
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I use to be the same way. I still am, kind of, because I really don't believe anything I am about to say.


How noble.

You're full of hot, unreactive air.

Edited, Oct 14th 2012 3:31am by Kavekk
#17 Oct 15 2012 at 3:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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I get to this part "Oh sh*t I'm going to die one day" but for the majority of the time it doesn't bother me. I don't think there's life after death, I don't think there's any greater purpose in life and I'm ok with that. I want to enjoy life for as long as I can and I hope to improve the life of people I interact with, even if only in a small way.

The universe is so incomprehensibly vast that in the grand scheme of things nothing anyone ever does will ever matter. Do what makes you happy, do things that give you a sense of accomplishment. Be nice to other people.

There are things I'd like to achieve in life, I hope one day I'll fall in love and have a family, but mostly I just want to spend my time doing things I enjoy. I hope on my deathbed I can look back at my life and think about all the things I did that made me smile, I think that's more important than the things I didn't do or that I could have done differently.

If there is nothing after death, the only things that matter are what you do with each day and the people you spend your time with.
#18 Oct 15 2012 at 8:23 AM Rating: Good
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Be nice to other people.

[...]

I hope on my deathbed I can look back at my life and think about all the things I did that made me smile,
What if the things that make me smile is being mean to other people?
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#19 Oct 15 2012 at 9:15 AM Rating: Excellent
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Find someone who likes you being mean to them.
#20 Oct 15 2012 at 3:48 PM Rating: Good
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He posts here...
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#21 Oct 15 2012 at 4:08 PM Rating: Decent
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He posts here...
Seriously. I only hit Sage after posting here and being an *** to most of you.
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#22 Oct 15 2012 at 8:29 PM Rating: Good
Nilatai wrote:

I know other people have probably experienced things like this before. I don't like opening myself up like this and being vulnerable, but I have no idea what to do. So, help?


I don't know if anything I type will help, probably make it worse? You OP describe what I ponder on a lot, like multiple times a week/days a lot.

Quote:
What's the meaning of life?

-To live, to love, to cry, to fear, to be happy.
Quote:
Is there something afterwards?

-Maybe, but probably not. I do however believe in ghosts, so there has to be a possibility of something. Or nothing. Or everything
Quote:
Oh sh*t I'm going to die one day.

-Yes you are. I am too. The people you live/love/see every day, they going to die. Some while you are alive. Some will have to deal with your death.
When? How? Meh. When it is time.
Quote:
Crippling anxiety, non-stop thoughts of death and/or dying.

-The sooner you give, the sooner that weight may leave. Should not fear death, it is going to happen.

Quote:
I mean, what's the point of it?

-Of live? Or the anxiety? See the 1st, and the last above.
Quote:
Does my relationship really matter to me?

-That is on you.
Quote:
Do I love the people around me?

-I'm sure you love some of them.
Quote:
Do they love me?

-If you died right now, would they care? Sure most would. To care about someone is to love them just a little bit, is it not?

I just tell myself to live life to the best I can. Death is going to happen. There is no way to stop or get around it . . . yet. Ponder on all the ways it could be stopped. It can be a fascinating journey.
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#23 Oct 16 2012 at 7:20 AM Rating: Good
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Nilatai wrote:
trickybeck wrote:

I had pretty much the same experience. Occasional mortality anxiety since the teenage years, but was able to keep it to fleeting moments. Sometime around age 27, out of nowhere, I got stuck in a feedback loop for like a month, where it was all I could think about. Which caused some depression as well.

Therapy helps. Taking a xanax if an anxiety attack happens. Daily exercise. Doing as many social activities as possible. I also have a long commute, which is a breeding ground for negative thoughts, so I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts.

I am finding that plenty of social interaction helps actually.

I've read that an active lifestyle can help with depression and such before. I should look into that. I could stand to lose a few kilos.

Thanks for the replies.

Edited, Oct 13th 2012 4:19pm by Nilatai
Sunflower seeds are a good source of the anti-depressant phenylalanine. Likewise St. Johns Wart is supposedly an herbal treatment for mild depression. It's not so easy to snack on like sunflower seeds though.

With winter coming and days getting shorter make sure you get outside a lot. Nothing beats natural sun to enhance ones mood.


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