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#1 Jan 15 2013 at 12:44 PM Rating: Good
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So I was thinking about ex-girlfriends recently, and was remembering one in particular, who used to sing to me. I don't mean she was in school for voice or was practicing or anything. We'd be sitting on the couch, she'd lean in, and start whisper-singing a song to me. I guess she thought it was sexy or some sh*t.

Anyway, how are you supposed to react? I mean, I'd have to turn to look at her, and then she's singing in my face. She didn't have bad breath, but I still don't like when someone is breathing/talking right in front of my nose; it's weird. And she wouldn't just sing like a hot little line, or a couple bars of a song. She'd sing the whole song. So then I'm sitting there, fake smile plastered to my face, wanting it to be over, not knowing what to do. Can she see me? Can't she see that I am not digging her poorly-voiced tunes? I wonder if she'd notice if I moved my eyes back to the TV screen. Should I take out my lighter and wave it back and forth? Oh god, I have to pee. Can I put her on hold and just go pee? "I'm sorry to interrupt your thrilling rendition of whatever top-40 love song garbage that is, but my bladder is about to explode." Too harsh? Is she still going? The second verse? Really? Two choruses and one verse just weren't enough? Maybe she thinks if she keeps going, I'll eventually get into it. Nod and smile. Nod and smile.

We were together for something like 5 months. I don't even know how. Why would anyone spend that amount of time with me and think that I would enjoy that, or know how to appropriately respond? And what is the appropriate response, anyhow?

I kind of feel bad blasting her for this, but it just seems so over-the-top ridiculous to me.

Edited, Jan 15th 2013 1:45pm by Spoonless
#2 Jan 15 2013 at 12:50 PM Rating: Excellent
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Wait for the section just before the high notes then PIIHP.
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#3 Jan 15 2013 at 12:51 PM Rating: Excellent
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Make like James Woods and punch her in the throat.
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#4 Jan 15 2013 at 1:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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Spoonless wrote:
And what is the appropriate response, anyhow?

Sex.

Tell her you heard her singing and lost all control. Be consistent about it and she'll stop singing so much; if not you probably won't care.
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#5 Jan 15 2013 at 1:04 PM Rating: Good
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Smiley: lol
#6 Jan 15 2013 at 2:13 PM Rating: Excellent
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Respond with The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#7 Jan 15 2013 at 2:22 PM Rating: Excellent
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Quote:
Anyway, how are you supposed to react?

"Please don't sing into my face."
#8 Jan 15 2013 at 2:29 PM Rating: Excellent
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Sneeze in her mouth while she's singing.
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#9 Jan 15 2013 at 2:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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Iamadam wrote:
Sneeze in her mouth while she's singing.

Or just blow air into it like when you're trying to **** off the cat.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Jan 15 2013 at 2:39 PM Rating: Excellent
Duet, you fool.
#11 Jan 15 2013 at 2:44 PM Rating: Decent
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Jophiel wrote:
Respond with The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.


We have a winnar! Oh wait! I like that song...
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#12 Jan 15 2013 at 2:53 PM Rating: Good
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Did she do any sweet drum solos?
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#13 Jan 15 2013 at 3:03 PM Rating: Good
GBATE!! Never saw it coming
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Insist she use your "conductor's baton" while singing.
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#14 Jan 15 2013 at 3:08 PM Rating: Excellent
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PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#15 Jan 15 2013 at 3:36 PM Rating: Good
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PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?


Idiot.
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#16 Jan 15 2013 at 3:55 PM Rating: Good
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Allegory wrote:
Quote:
Anyway, how are you supposed to react?

"Please don't sing into my face."
Smiley: laugh Fair enough.

I guess I should have asked her what she expected as a reaction, before we stopped talking and all. Mostly I'm wondering which of the lurkers here are facesingers.
#17 Jan 15 2013 at 7:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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Spoonless wrote:
facesingers.


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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#18 Jan 15 2013 at 9:46 PM Rating: Decent
I can't believe that you missed all the fun singing up to having sex with her? It's a natural progression!
#19 Jan 15 2013 at 10:35 PM Rating: Excellent
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Spoonless wrote:
And what is the appropriate response, anyhow?

Motorboat.
/thread.
#20 Jan 15 2013 at 11:51 PM Rating: Good
Jophiel wrote:
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.


Wait. I'm supposed to start singing before my husband does this??
#21 Jan 16 2013 at 12:38 AM Rating: Good
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Belkira wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.


Wait. I'm supposed to start singing before my husband does this??
Depends on whether the drums or the vocals start first in whatever song you're doing.
#22 Jan 16 2013 at 1:06 AM Rating: Excellent
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Belkira wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.


Wait. I'm supposed to start singing before my husband does this??
Depends on whether the drums or the vocals start first in whatever song you're doing.


There's supposed to be a song...?
#23 Jan 16 2013 at 3:02 AM Rating: Good
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I wish I was a facesinger Smiley: frown

I assume she was completely sober when she did this, in which case, get ******' drunk and see if it gets any less strange.
It should.
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#24 Jan 16 2013 at 7:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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Kirby the Eccentric wrote:
I assume she was completely sober when she did this, in which case, get @#%^in' drunk and see if it gets any less strange.
It should.

Or get wasted on a combination of mushrooms and cough syrup and see if it gets more strange...
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#25 Jan 16 2013 at 2:01 PM Rating: Decent
I guess it would be different if they were sitting next to you on the couch, but I had a girl one time who was dancing for me and then a soft song came on and she sat down in my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, put her head on my shoulder and started singing along with it. It was a nice change of pace and she didn't sound horrible. When I came to find out the song had a personal meaning to her, it was even hotter, I think.

It's an intimate moment, appropriately responded to with some sort of intimacy. While sitting on the couch? I'd suggest a simple caress of the hand or thigh to acknowledge the effort. No need to ignore her completely or break into a duet or anything.
#26 Jan 16 2013 at 2:14 PM Rating: Excellent
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BrownDuck wrote:
I guess it would be different if they were sitting next to you on the couch, but I had a girl one time who was dancing for me and then a soft song came on and she sat down in my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, put her head on my shoulder and started singing along with it.

So what's that run? An extra twenty?
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
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