Forum Settings
       
Reply To Thread

Make sure you really enjoy that banana.Follow

#1 Nov 04 2013 at 6:20 PM Rating: Excellent
Gave Up The D
Avatar
*****
12,281 posts
Cause it could be your last.

Dozens of Deadly Spiders Burst from Banana As Woman Prepares to Eat It wrote:
An urban legend joined forces with a recurring nightmare and the worst case scenario to permanently traumatize a young mother who found dozens of the world's most venomous spiders crawling all over the banana she was preparing to consume.

"I thought it was mold," said Consi Taylor, 29, of London, referring to the white spots she found on her banana. "[B]ut when I had a closer look I saw some funny looking spots...and was horrified to see they were spiders. They were hatching out on the table, scurrying around on my carpet."

Before realizing she was dealing with dozens of Brazilian wandering spiders (AKA banana spiders) — a highly aggressive, highly venomous spider certified as "the most toxic" by Guinness World Records — Taylor attempted to return the bananas to the Sainsbury's supermarket where she'd bought them.

She was initially offered £10 ($16) for her trouble, but after sending a photo of the spider to a pest control specialist, Taylor, her husband Richard, and their two small children were ordered to get the hell out of the house and never look back.

Well, at least until the residence was thoroughly fumigated.

Sainsbury’s subsequently offered to pay the full cost of the extermination, as well as pick up the tab at the hotel where the Taylors were temporarily put up.

The supermarket chain apologized for the incident, but insisted it has "rigorous controls on imported products at all stages" which significantly reduce the instances of killer spiders bursting from bananas and attacking patrons.

Taylor, meanwhile, is content with reducing her daily intake of potassium.

"I hope I didn’t eat one but I can’t be sure," she said. "I now have a phobia of buying bananas. We don’t know whether they’ve all gone."


No pics cause this is too ****** up even for me.
Screenshot
____________________________
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#2 Nov 04 2013 at 6:34 PM Rating: Excellent
Meat Popsicle
*****
13,666 posts
I was promised a thread with no pics! Smiley: mad

I would never buy another banana, ever.
____________________________
That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#3 Nov 04 2013 at 6:57 PM Rating: Excellent
Sage
Avatar
****
8,187 posts
Well I warned my mother about this. She doesnt buy them all that often, but the nursing home gets a few cases of them in each week for the residents.

Now I know what her death is going to be. Thanks Obama.
____________________________
Things I sometimes play...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be a unicorn!"
"Awww, why's that?"........
"So I can stab people with my face."
#4 Nov 04 2013 at 6:57 PM Rating: Excellent
@#%^
*****
15,953 posts
My brother is mega afraid of spiders and eats a banana a day.

Thank you for helping me ruin his life just a little more.
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"

#5 Nov 04 2013 at 9:04 PM Rating: Good
Keeper of the Shroud
*****
13,632 posts
Crap, I just bought some bananas today. ...um, I'll be back.
#6 Nov 04 2013 at 9:13 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
******
29,919 posts
I always check mine for suspicious holes and place them in airtight quarentine for a period of time before I have my laser armed robot open them in a contained clas IV quarentine chamber with integrated heat vaporization technology.

So far no deadly spdiers in any of my banannas.

Brazillian wandering spiders are very large, and very agressive, so it is unusual for them to remain quiet long enough to get them in the bag.
____________________________
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
Forum Rules
#7 Nov 04 2013 at 9:28 PM Rating: Good
I ******* hate bananas. Thanks for reassuring I should still hate them forever. 'cuz I hate spiders just as much.
____________________________
Sandinmyeye | |Tsukaremashi*a |
#8 Nov 04 2013 at 10:00 PM Rating: Good
Gave Up The D
Avatar
*****
12,281 posts
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Brazillian wandering spiders are very large, and very agressive, so it is unusual for them to remain quiet long enough to get them in the bag.


It wasn't a full grown spider in the bag, the bananas were coated with the eggs and the pickers never cleaned them off. Thank God we hose our fruits and vegetables down with a liberal application of pesticides and radiation here in the States. What kind of half *** food regulations do they have over there?
____________________________
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#9 Nov 05 2013 at 6:15 AM Rating: Good
Ghost in the Machine
Avatar
******
36,443 posts
I don't eat fruits/vegetables from exotic countries where freaky fruit spiders live.

Sometimes I buy an exotic fruit just to throw it out. Take that, spiders!
____________________________
Please "talk up" if your comprehension white-shifts. I will use simple-happy language-words to help you understand.
#10 Nov 05 2013 at 6:28 AM Rating: Good
*****
15,952 posts
I prefer spiders in my fruit to those irritating fruit flies and small birds.
#11 Nov 05 2013 at 2:58 PM Rating: Excellent
Gave Up The D
Avatar
*****
12,281 posts
Aripyanfar wrote:
I prefer spiders in my fruit to those irritating fruit flies and small birds.


Well you're used to spiders anyway, if you found a small bird inside your banana I bet you would freak the **** out just as much.
____________________________
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#12 Nov 05 2013 at 4:21 PM Rating: Good
Ken Burton's Reject
*****
12,834 posts
...

Well so much for buying bananas ever again.
____________________________
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/pawkeshup
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/pawkeshup
Twitch: http://www.twitch.tv/pawkeshup
Blog: http://pawkeshup.blogspot.com
Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
The idea of old school is way more interesting than the reality
#13 Nov 05 2013 at 4:40 PM Rating: Good
******
27,272 posts
Pawkeshup the Meaningless wrote:
...

Well so much for buying bananas ever again.
Because one banana out of billions that is also thousands of miles away from you had spiders on it?
#14 Nov 05 2013 at 7:40 PM Rating: Excellent
*****
15,952 posts
There's no getting rid of Death Cooties. That couch had to go.
#15 Nov 05 2013 at 8:42 PM Rating: Good
*******
50,767 posts
She should have noticed something was amiss when the banana tried to crawl up a wall and spin a web.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#16 Nov 05 2013 at 10:00 PM Rating: Good
Just avoid bananas with white spots that look like mold.
#17 Nov 06 2013 at 4:30 PM Rating: Good
*****
15,952 posts
The year of living safely.
#18 Nov 06 2013 at 5:29 PM Rating: Good
Ghost in the Machine
Avatar
******
36,443 posts
Bought a cluster of bananas today. Threw 'em in a dumpster.

Potential spiders just got owned!
____________________________
Please "talk up" if your comprehension white-shifts. I will use simple-happy language-words to help you understand.
#19 Nov 06 2013 at 5:39 PM Rating: Excellent
@#%^
*****
15,953 posts
Mazra wrote:
Bought a cluster of bananas today. Threw 'em in a dumpster.

Potential spiders just got owned!


Starving 3rd world people too! Let's not forget about them!
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"

#20 Nov 06 2013 at 6:02 PM Rating: Excellent
Gave Up The D
Avatar
*****
12,281 posts
Iamadam wrote:
Mazra wrote:
Bought a cluster of bananas today. Threw 'em in a dumpster.

Potential spiders just got owned!


Starving 3rd world people too! Let's not forget about them!


And the birds that get ambushed by the spiders at the dump.
____________________________
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#21 Nov 07 2013 at 2:09 AM Rating: Decent
****
9,393 posts
I've known that spiders in the bananas is actually a real(but really unlikely) possibility since I was 7. I still ******' love bananas though.
____________________________
10k before the site's inevitable death or bust

The World Is Not A Cold Dead Place.
Alan Watts wrote:
I am omnipotent insofar as I am the Universe, but I am not an omnipotent in the role of Alan Watts, only cunning


Eske wrote:
I've always read Driftwood as the straight man in varus' double act. It helps if you read all of his posts in the voice of Droopy Dog.
#22 Nov 07 2013 at 7:38 AM Rating: Good
Ghost in the Machine
Avatar
******
36,443 posts
Iamadam wrote:
Mazra wrote:
Bought a cluster of bananas today. Threw 'em in a dumpster.

Potential spiders just got owned!


Starving 3rd world people too! Let's not forget about them!


I thought long and hard on this potential issue, and I came to the conclusion that had I not bought that cluster of bananas, the poor child slaves in Africa would not have gotten their daily ration of beans. Besides, it's not like I'd want to send a cluster of spider infested bananas to them, anyway - that would just be mean.
____________________________
Please "talk up" if your comprehension white-shifts. I will use simple-happy language-words to help you understand.
#23 Nov 07 2013 at 2:30 PM Rating: Excellent
*****
10,601 posts
I guess this raises the average micromort for eating banana's
____________________________
01001001 00100000 01001100 01001001 01001011 01000101 00100000 01000011 01000001 01001011 01000101
You'll always be stupid, you'll just be stupid with more information in your brain
Forum FAQ
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 216 All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (216)