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Happy Thanksgiving to allFollow

#1 Nov 27 2013 at 10:04 AM Rating: Good
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Just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to all . I wish everyone safe travels its a rough storm here in the NE.
Safe Journeys
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#2 Nov 27 2013 at 10:07 AM Rating: Good
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Sigh. You're a month late.
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#3 Nov 27 2013 at 10:13 AM Rating: Good
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
Sigh. You're a month late.

bah Canadiens Smiley: tongue
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#4 Nov 27 2013 at 10:20 AM Rating: Excellent
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Happy pre-Turkey Awareness Day!
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#5 Nov 27 2013 at 10:31 AM Rating: Excellent
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I just read a little article the other night that said the turkey pardoned by the white house only usually lives a couple of additional months before dying. It turns out between the breeding and the diet those turkeys we eat aren't long for this world. Their organs aren't designed for an animal as plumped up as they are, and so wear down fast making a quick death virtually inevitable.

Gobble gobble!
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#6 Nov 27 2013 at 10:38 AM Rating: Excellent
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We kill them so they won't die.
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#7 Nov 27 2013 at 10:39 AM Rating: Good
Happy Genocide Day, my American friends.
#8 Nov 27 2013 at 10:53 AM Rating: Excellent
Office is closing today at 3:00 PM. Hooray! Smiley: yippee
#9 Nov 27 2013 at 11:26 AM Rating: Excellent
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
Sigh. You're a month late.

I'm thankful for the inferiority complex Canadians have that makes them pipe up with this every time Smiley: laugh

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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Nov 27 2013 at 11:58 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Uglysasquatch wrote:
Sigh. You're a month late.

I'm thankful for the inferiority complex Canadians have that makes them pipe up with this every time Smiley: laugh
You could set your watch by it.
#11 Nov 27 2013 at 12:07 PM Rating: Excellent
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someproteinguy wrote:
I just read a little article the other night that said the turkey pardoned by the white house only usually lives a couple of additional months before dying.

I've just seen my third story on this in the last two days.

As stupid as the whole "turkey pardon" thing is (and it's plenty stupid), stories on the fate of pardoned turkeys has to rank even lower.
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#12 Nov 27 2013 at 12:09 PM Rating: Excellent
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Happy pre-Turkey Awareness Day!
I made you that avatar a couple years ago didn't I? And I don't even celebrate thanksgiving!
#13 Nov 27 2013 at 12:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
stuff


It's suppose to tug at your liberal bleeding heart side and make you feel guilty about the pain and suffering your over indulgences have on the other animals in the world.

Edited, Nov 27th 2013 10:28am by someproteinguy
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#14 Nov 27 2013 at 12:52 PM Rating: Excellent
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Happy pre-Turkey Awareness Day!
I made you that avatar a couple years ago didn't I? And I don't even celebrate thanksgiving!


I think so!
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#15 Nov 27 2013 at 12:54 PM Rating: Good
someproteinguy wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
stuff


More like stuffing, am I right? Eh? Eh?

Why aren't you laughing?

You don't think I'm funny, huh? You're a piece of sh*t. I'll cuss you out with every star on your misbegotten flag, you ****ing **** sucking ****-popsicle sh*t **** ****ing boat-punting **** ****less piece of cow crap ****. You slick-handed, sockless ******, you **** yourself more than a suited **** buying stocks in Northern Rock, you ****.
#16 Nov 27 2013 at 1:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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Need a hug?
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#17 Nov 27 2013 at 1:10 PM Rating: Good
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I could always use a hug
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#18 Nov 27 2013 at 1:14 PM Rating: Excellent
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*hug*
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#19 Nov 27 2013 at 1:21 PM Rating: Good
someproteinguy wrote:
Need a hug?


You can't hug your children with nuclear arms.
#20 Nov 27 2013 at 1:23 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kavekk wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
Need a hug?


You can't hug your children with nuclear arms.
You can hug them with unclear arms though. I'm a master of transposition.
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#21 Nov 27 2013 at 1:39 PM Rating: Excellent
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If I go to the trouble of building a custom set of nuclear powered robot arms to hug children with, someone is damned well going to use them for that purpose. Nuclear powered robot arms are expensive!
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#22 Nov 27 2013 at 2:18 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Uglysasquatch wrote:
Sigh. You're a month late.

I'm thankful for the inferiority complex Canadians have that makes them pipe up with this every time Smiley: laugh

How the hell else do we keep Canada in anyway, "relevant"? Crack smoking mayors?
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#23 Nov 27 2013 at 4:44 PM Rating: Good
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Rukkuss wrote:
I wish everyone safe travels its a rough storm here in the NE.
Safe Journeys

The blustery wind tried hard to flip my umbrella inside out this morning, but my sturdy pink Chicago Bumbershoot must have been built to withstand windy cities.

One kid is home. Smiley: grin

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#24 Nov 27 2013 at 8:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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To properly set the mood, once again I inflict upon the world:
Why there are no traditional thanksgiving day poems like the night before christmas, by Tim Pierce:

Twas the night before Givethanks, and all through the house
Sounds of frantic pie baking, yes, even the mouse.
In the stockade birds preyed with a fervent appeal,
In hopes on the morrow we would all switch to Veal.

The panicked cooks tossed and turned up in their beds,
While visions of burnt turkeys played through their heads.
And mom in her apron and I in my cap,
Had just finally baked the last #$%^&ing gingersnap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a racket,
I ran from the kitchen to see if I should smack it.
Away to the doorway I ran with a bat,
Tore onto the front porch to settle the spat.

The rain in the clouds of the November night
Made the yard muddy and look quite a fright.
When, what to my wondering eyes should then prowl,
But a miniature turkey pan and eight tiny fowl.

With a strange little driver, so grumpy and quirky,
I knew in a moment it must be St Turkey.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Drumstick! now, Gobbles! now, Birdbrain and Nixon!
On, Stuffing! , Turducken! on, Sandwich and Fixins!
To the top of the kitchen! And watch out for that ridge!
Now leftovers! leftovers! Lets raid the fridge"

As dry leaves that before the wild turkey fly,
When they meet with the fridge door, they blow it sky high.
Through clouds of shrapnel the baked birds then flew,
With the pan full of Tupperware and tinfoil too.

And then, with a crash that I heard from the floor
The sound of these bird raiders searching for more.
As I lifted my bat, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Turkey came with a horrible sound.

He was dressed all in Gravy , from his toes to his beak,
And his face was a horror not meant for the weak.
A Bushel of Brussels sprouts he wore on his head,
Mashed potatoes for clogs, and a belt made of bread

His eyes-how they glowed like the coals from a fire!
And I knew then our plight was really quite dire!
This turkey then strolled through the wreck of our home ,
Cackling madly like a demented garden gnome.

A week old drumstick he held tight in his teeth,
And the stench of it reeked beyond all belief.
He had a grim face made of cranberry jelly,
That shook when he talked and gave nightmares to Nelly!

He was angry and bitter, a right pissed off bird,
And he surveyed our oven with scarcely a word!
A gleam of his eye and a shake of his head,
Soon made me think we’d be better off dead.

He spoke not a word, but went right to the fridge ,
And pointed to the carcass of his former Aunt Midge.
“So you want to eat turkey this Thanksgiving day?”
“Well the tables have turned!” he then started to say

And that’s when the swat team arrived at a run
And shot the stunned turkeys with hundreds of guns
So remember when cooking on turkey day night
"Lock the kitchen door tightly and stay in the light"
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#25 Nov 28 2013 at 11:44 AM Rating: Good
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That's a bit morbid.
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