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#227 Apr 22 2017 at 2:25 AM Rating: Good
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Friar Bijou wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
Have you ever been divorced?
Yep.

Are you and the missus fighting? Yelling at each other? Is it a dangerous or unhealthy environment for you kid?



No. It has never been like that. But then, I think even that would be better. Even that is better than nothing at all.

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If the answer is no I suggest moving with her, transfer your classes, finish school, be a great dad and make the best of the relationship.


I really think this is my year of twilight. Barring some kind of miracle, I don't see any kind of life or future beyond this point. What you are saying is pretty much confirmation of this.
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#228 Apr 24 2017 at 9:28 AM Rating: Good
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People get divorced all the time. It's never caused the end of the world.
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#229 Apr 24 2017 at 10:00 AM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
People get divorced all the time. It's never caused the end of the world.

That YOU know of...

From previous posts in this thread, he had zero romantic interest in his wife and she thought of him as "a pet".


Edited, Apr 24th 2017 11:02am by Jophiel
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#230 Apr 24 2017 at 10:34 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
People get divorced all the time. It's never caused the end of the world.
That YOU know of...
Well, I do feel fine ...
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#231 Apr 24 2017 at 11:46 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
People get divorced all the time. It's never caused the end of the world.

That YOU know of...

From previous posts in this thread, he had zero romantic interest in his wife and she thought of him as "a pet".


Edited, Apr 24th 2017 11:02am by Jophiel


You mean you've actually been reading that **** to some extent?
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#232 Apr 25 2017 at 3:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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You're talking to a man who still reads gbaji posts.
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#233 Apr 25 2017 at 10:04 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'm a good skimmer.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#234 Apr 25 2017 at 11:16 AM Rating: Good
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Slacker.
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George Carlin wrote:
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#235 Apr 25 2017 at 11:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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If you work hard to optimize your slacking, are you still a slacker? It's like George Costanza having a sleeping apparatus constructed under his desk for mid-day napping.

Edited, Apr 25th 2017 12:35pm by Jophiel
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#236 Apr 26 2017 at 10:21 PM Rating: Decent
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Kuwoobie wrote:
Well. Have you ever been divorced? Has anyone here? It is to my understanding that nearly every experiences it at some point or another.

My wife seems to think everything will be fine once we move to the other side of the state and starts working days. I think it's too late, but I have said nothing yet. She must know she is kidding herself. I'm probably just going to stay here when she moves. It is probably going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and probably the worst possible timing. It will only become worse the more I wait, though, so it's not quite the worst possible timing. I'm nowhere near finished with school, though.

I don't know anything about anything. My biggest concern is how it might effect our son, and child support. I don't know anything at all.


May I suggest maybe *not* making a massive life changing (for more people than just you) decision without thinking through the ramifications? It just seems like this entire thread is about the fact that you're unhappy with your life and doing things trying to fix that, but none of them make you any happier. That's the pattern, right? I guess what I'm saying here is that if you're going to be miserable whether you divorce your wife or not, then why do it? And everything I've seen you post so far suggests that's going to be the case. She isn't the cause of your unhappiness. Your child (children? I thought you each had one or something) isn't the cause of your unhappiness. So you're basically changing things that aren't the problem.

I can't tell you what the problem is, but I can tell you that pushing away other people isn't going to help one bit. It's your choice, of course, but that's just my opinion.
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#237 Apr 27 2017 at 7:13 AM Rating: Excellent
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I half assumed that this life change was being thrust upon him as much as anything but... who knows.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#238 Apr 27 2017 at 11:36 AM Rating: Good
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I guess what I'm saying here is that if you're going to be miserable whether you divorce your wife or not, then why do it?


Because I'll never have a chance to be with anyone else so long as I stay married. It's like what Jophiel said a few months ago when I was talking about the person at the comic store. There was a great emphasis on the fact that I am married.

Jophiel from several months ago wrote:
It's not wrong for you to socialize -- it is pretty creepy to have some dude "making an effort" towards you when (a) he's married and more importantly (b) you're just there to play cards or take photos or hike or whatever.

Your problem isn't that society is keeping you down, your problem is that you're a married man whose idea of socializing is to find and obsess over random women who just act friendly.


Maybe if I were not married-- if my wife had not come barreling in that day to scream at me in front of my new friend to show how scary she could be and to mark her territory, there could have been a chance things might have been different. Maybe.

It's too much for most people to comprehend that being married does not necessarily mean happily married. I can't simply wait for someone who will ignore the ring on my hand, nor will I lie about whether or not I'm married.

As far as I'm concerned, the relationship I have with my wife is the exactly the same as being single, except I have a controlling, jealous roommate that controls every aspect of my life from what I am eating that day to when I am allowed to sleep. There is no intimacy. No affection. We aren't even friends. She goes to work, then comes home and sleeps. On her days off, she will sleep all day AND all night. That's it. I try to tell her about all of the things I talk about on here and she tells me that I'm stressing her out and she doesn't know what to tell me. I tell her that I feel like killing myself nearly every day, because I do, and she says that she worries about the safety of her children and whether or not she'll come home one day and find me dead on the floor. So every day we have the same conversation over Skype while she is at work, and ultimately it leads to neither of us knowing what to do about it and oh well, that's that. I take care of everything that needs to get done then spend the rest of the day sleeping or studying or playing a game to distract myself from the overwhelming need to walk outside and jump in front of a speeding box truck.

That won't happen, though. Nothing ever happens. Nothing changes. Any choice I can make to try and change things will serve only to make things worse, just as gbaji has said. My marriage to my wife is the only relationship I have ever had with anyone. If I weren't with her, I would be with no one, and what little comfort I have in not being completely alone would be gone. I would not be able to survive in that state for very long at all. The topic of divorce will probably never come up from either me or my wife. She says she expects I will cheat on her because we never do anything together. It's like she wants me to so she'll have a reason to get rid of me, but that will never happen, either. There is no one to "cheat" with. There is simply no one. She is the only one who has ever given me any sort of chance, and now that we've had our $30 courthouse marriage and a child together, she is done with me. It has been this way ever since he was born. Yet, she doesn't want me to die. She doesn't want me to leave, either. I am not allowed to talk to other women, lest she gets jealous. I am to be kept here. I am like some old junk that serves no real purpose but holds just enough sentimental value to not throw away. Aside from stressing her out with my depression and thoughts of suicide, I don't cause any problems. There is no fighting. No violence. No yelling-- all those kinds of things I have come to expect from relationships growing up.

So what will most likely happen is: We will move to Tampa as soon as she finds a job and a place for us to live there. When that will be exactly is uncertain... The reason we are moving is because my stepdaughter's father is moving there, and custody arrangements demand he gets to see her on weekends and holidays. So we will move with him. I will continue my classes there and continue my role as a male housewife until I graduate and find a job in radiology... after that is uncertain.

I feel like the only reason I'm going to school to try and get a decent job is so I can be independent from my wife... so that once I'm independent I can go my own way and afford to live on my own, drive my own car, etc. Today was the last day of my psychology class. I cried the entire way home because there was one person in that class I was particularly interested in who I realized I would probably never see again-- who I barely ever had a chance to talk to, and when I did, I chose not to out of lack of courage. She knew I was married. Everyone does. The very first thing anyone said to me the moment I walked into that class was my teacher informing me that she knew my mother and she knew my wife. I managed to make a bit of small talk with that person over the 4 weeks of that class, and there was one day the school held some event that felt like a carnival of sorts with games and such, where by some strange phenomena the two of us were together the whole time despite the rest of the class being there. It felt like we were on a date, and it seemed to have broken the ice a little-- and perhaps, just perhaps, it is possible my feelings for her are reciprocated.

But of course, I am a creep for feeling this way. I am married. I am nearly twice her age. I am just obsessing over someone again whereas I should simply feel indifferent about everyone as they are with me. I found her Facebook page, but not because she told me her info. Creep! I could send her a friend request and attempt to talk to her again, and most likely relive the whole nightmare I experienced with the girl from the comic store. Maybe worse. Maybe not as bad. Or I could just let her go-- let it fall apart, and throw her in the fire to burn with all the others.

It's funny because this was my psychology class. I finished with a 92.3% average, maintaining my 4.0 in this school. Everything I learned in that class is contradictory to what everyone tells me-- about a need to associate, to feel love and belonging. Even sex is considered a physiological need. --that happiness has everything to do with our relationships with other people. Given that, I don't see myself as a person with mental illness. I see myself as someone whos needs are consistently unmet. I am extremely torn-- because my experiences reflect a situation where there is no hope, but somehow I remain optimistic that something could change and make everything worthwhile. All it would take is one person.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#239 Apr 27 2017 at 12:55 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kuwoobie wrote:
It's too much for most people to comprehend that being married does not necessarily mean happily married.
It's been kind of a staple in comedy for many, many decades. And the plot of pretty much every soap opera.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#240 Apr 28 2017 at 9:55 AM Rating: Excellent
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Yeah, if anyone's confused lend them your Married With Children box set.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#241 Apr 29 2017 at 2:26 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
You should tell people that indiscriminately on the internet and see what happens.
Nothing. Nothing ever happens.
I became a tiger. With BALLS!!!!
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#242 Apr 30 2017 at 9:36 PM Rating: Good
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The reason we are moving is because my stepdaughter's father is moving there, and custody arrangements demand he gets to see her on weekends and holidays. So we will move with him. I will continue my classes there and continue my role as a male housewife until I graduate and find a job in radiology... after that is uncertain.


Why not just get an adjustment to the custody arrangements? Having some dude unilaterally decide to drag everyone else around after them seems kind of dumb.
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#243 Apr 30 2017 at 10:25 PM Rating: Excellent
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Yeah, I can't imagine a custody arrangement that allows one parent to move across the country and de facto requires the other party to move as well. Generally speaking, the primary custodian just has to make the child available -- it's the other parent's problem if they move away and now have to travel 700 miles to see the child.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#244 Apr 30 2017 at 11:59 PM Rating: Good
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It's not really required. It's just what they agreed to do that I don't have any say in.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#245 May 01 2017 at 7:47 AM Rating: Excellent
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If you have less of a say in where your wife and kids go than her ex does, well... hell, maybe that's not even your biggest problem.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#246 May 01 2017 at 8:05 PM Rating: Good
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The move doesn't really matter. What is one stretch of copy paste Florida land over another?

In other news. I had a dream 45 killed himself because he couldn't handle the pressure of being president.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#247 May 02 2017 at 8:00 AM Rating: Good
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One stretch has gators, another meth heads, and one has zombies.

Edited, May 2nd 2017 10:37am by lolgaxe
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#248 May 02 2017 at 3:49 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kuwoobie wrote:
The move doesn't really matter. What is one stretch of copy paste Florida land over another?

Don't ask me; you were the one ready to divorce over it. I assume part of it is zombie meth gators.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#249 May 02 2017 at 3:58 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
The move doesn't really matter. What is one stretch of copy paste Florida land over another?

Don't ask me; you were the one ready to divorce over it. I assume part of it is zombie meth gators.


You're not that good of a skimmer if you think moving and my reasons for considering divorced are in some way related.
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Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.

#250 May 02 2017 at 5:29 PM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:
It's funny because this was my psychology class. I finished with a 92.3% average, maintaining my 4.0 in this school. Everything I learned in that class is contradictory to what everyone tells me-- about a need to associate, to feel love and belonging. Even sex is considered a physiological need. --that happiness has everything to do with our relationships with other people. Given that, I don't see myself as a person with mental illness. I see myself as someone whos needs are consistently unmet. I am extremely torn-- because my experiences reflect a situation where there is no hope, but somehow I remain optimistic that something could change and make everything worthwhile. All it would take is one person.


Has it occurred to you that the "one person" is you? I think I mentioned this earlier in the thread, but I'll say it again. I think a huge part of your problem is that you're looking for validation outside of yourself. You keep looking to others to make you feel better about yourself. But what you should really be doing is figuring out how to be happy with yourself, for what you are, not what you think others see in you.
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King Nobby wrote:
More words please
#251 May 02 2017 at 5:40 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kuwoobie wrote:
You're not that good of a skimmer if you think moving and my reasons for considering divorced are in some way related.

I'm okay with that Smiley: thumbsup
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
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