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**** your autistic kid, I'm tired of hearing about him.Follow

#1 Mar 20 2013 at 10:58 AM Rating: Decent
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http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/health-officials-50-school-kids-autism-18768933

How not to do epidemiology:

The new statistic comes from a national phone survey of more than 95,000 parents in 2011 and 2012. Less than a quarter of the parents contacted agreed to answer questions, and it's likely that those with autistic kids were more interested than other parents in participating in a survey on children's health, CDC officials said.

How not to do advocacy:

"We've been underestimating" how common autism is, said Michael Rosanoff of Autism Speaks, an advocacy group. He believes the figure is at least 1 in 50.

Fuck you, Mike. When we get to "every child is autistic" do you get a set of steak knives?

Everyone's aware of rich white people diseases. Things no one needs to work on "increasing awareness" of:

Breast Cancer
Autism
Aids

We've got it. Wear rubbers, check your tits, and get a diagnosis for your kid if they aren't an overachiever.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#2 Mar 20 2013 at 11:03 AM Rating: Decent
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Mike Stobbe wrote:
For decades, autism meant kids with severe language, intellectual and social impairments and unusual, repetitious behaviors.
Has Halo really been around that long?
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#3 Mar 20 2013 at 11:30 AM Rating: Excellent
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I thought we called them Indigo Children or Crystal Children now to celebrate how they are actually gifted with paranormal New Age powers.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#4 Mar 20 2013 at 11:33 AM Rating: Decent
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I thought we called them Indigo Children or Crystal Children now to celebrate how they are actually gifted with paranormal New Age powers.

Did "brain gimped" go out of fashion? I haven't checked ICD recently.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#5 Mar 20 2013 at 12:21 PM Rating: Excellent
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It's only because they are classifying more things as "autism" than before. When I was younger I jumped from one obsession to the next and they called it asperger's. Then I grew up and now I just call it "focus".

It's important to get kids who truly have debilitating conditions the help they need - but you're right - it's out of control now.

#6 Mar 20 2013 at 12:27 PM Rating: Excellent
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Autism is the new ADD.
#7 Mar 20 2013 at 12:29 PM Rating: Excellent
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My wife seems to think our second has some autism spectrum or whatever the fuck it is, because he took some MegaBlox and sorted them by color. He's thirteen months old, I see that as a good sign of development, not something to classify as a disorder.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#8 Mar 20 2013 at 12:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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Torrence wrote:
It's only because they are classifying more things as "autism" than before.

Well, not "only" that. For instance, the CDC said that the results were likely weighted because it was a voluntary survey and parents with autistic children are more likely to fill out a survey regarding autism than other parents.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#9 Mar 20 2013 at 12:31 PM Rating: Good
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Spoonless wrote:
Autism is the new ADD.


It's actually fairly comm...Oh! Peanuts yay!
#10 Mar 20 2013 at 12:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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Debalic wrote:
MegaBlox
I see you hate your children. I bet you buy RoseArt crayons, too. Smiley: frown
#11 Mar 20 2013 at 12:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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Debalic wrote:
My wife seems to think our second has some autism spectrum or whatever the fuck it is, because he took some MegaBlox and sorted them by color. He's thirteen months old, I see that as a good sign of development, not something to classify as a disorder.

What color is his aura?
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#12 Mar 20 2013 at 12:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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My wife seems to think our second has some autism spectrum or whatever the **** it is, because he took some MegaBlox and sorted them by color. He's thirteen months old

I'm sure your wife is lovely, and has many winning qualities. Knowing of her only in the vacuum of your reference, she sounds like a panicky high maintenance dimwit. If your kid only wants to sort blocks, and doesn't start talking for two more years, then worry.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#13 Mar 20 2013 at 12:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
What color is his aura?
Cat.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#14 Mar 20 2013 at 12:52 PM Rating: Decent
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Spoonless wrote:
Debalic wrote:
MegaBlox
I see you hate your children. I bet you buy RoseArt crayons, too. Smiley: frown

What's wrong with MegaBlox? They're perfect for 1-3 years, before switching to Duplos.

And I don't buy RoseArt, but other family members do.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#15 Mar 20 2013 at 12:53 PM Rating: Good
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1 in 50 autistic kids means we're going to need more uni-sex bathrooms.
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#16 Mar 20 2013 at 12:56 PM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
My wife seems to think our second has some autism spectrum or whatever the @#%^ it is, because he took some MegaBlox and sorted them by color. He's thirteen months old

I'm sure your wife is lovely, and has many winning qualities. Knowing of her only in the vacuum of your reference, she sounds like a panicky high maintenance dimwit. If your kid only wants to sort blocks, and doesn't start talking for two more years, then worry.

No, you've got her pretty much right. Jacob (and Thom, for that matter) is pretty much as perfectly normal as you can get.
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#17 Mar 20 2013 at 1:03 PM Rating: Good
Everyone's a little bit autistic.
#18 Mar 20 2013 at 1:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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Debalic wrote:
No, you've got her pretty much right. Jacob (and Thom, for that matter) is pretty much as perfectly normal as you can get.

That "h" in his name can be removed with surgery once he gets a little older.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#19 Mar 20 2013 at 1:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
the CDC said that the results were likely weighted because it was a voluntary survey and parents with autistic children are more likely to fill out a survey regarding autism than other parents.


Or parents who think their kids are autistic because some doctor couldn't find any other way to explain why little jane wasn't interested in the overload of options her parents gave her and instead honed in on one thing. It all comes back to the same issue - loads of kids are getting misdiagnosed and branded with labels that follow them the rest of their lives because parents can't just.. let them play with the damn blocks.
#20 Mar 20 2013 at 1:32 PM Rating: Excellent
I heard that Jenny McCarthy's kid is autistic. Did you hear that Jenny McCarthy's kid is autistic? Jenny McCarthy says that Jenny McCarth's kid is autistic because she vaccinated Jenny McCarthy's kid. Jenny McCarthy cares deeply about autism.

Personally, I think Jenny McCarthy's kid has autism because she's an annoying person.

Edited, Mar 20th 2013 2:33pm by Belkira
#21 Mar 20 2013 at 1:35 PM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
I thought we called them Indigo Children or Crystal Children now to celebrate how they are actually gifted with paranormal New Age powers.

Did "brain gimped" go out of fashion? I haven't checked ICD recently.
I'm ok with brain gimped, at the very least it's not some of that new age crap.
#22 Mar 20 2013 at 1:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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Belkira wrote:
Personally, I think Jenny McCarthy's kid has autism because she's an annoying person.

That's cruel and hateful.

Besides, it's obviously the wrath of God inflicted upon her for being a pornographer and *****.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#23 Mar 20 2013 at 3:17 PM Rating: Decent
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Torrence wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
the CDC said that the results were likely weighted because it was a voluntary survey and parents with autistic children are more likely to fill out a survey regarding autism than other parents.


Or parents who think their kids are autistic because some doctor couldn't find any other way to explain why little jane wasn't interested in the overload of options her parents gave her and instead honed in on one thing. It all comes back to the same issue - loads of kids are getting misdiagnosed and branded with labels that follow them the rest of their lives because parents can't just.. let them play with the damn blocks.


This. A thousand times, this. I think that parents seem to think that any behavior at all is somehow "wrong" and requires some kind of adjustment. I don't get it. Kids go through lots of phases when developing. Let them do it and move on. Trying to diagnose a kid at that early age for anything is pretty ridiculous.
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#24 Mar 20 2013 at 3:58 PM Rating: Excellent
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Diagnosing is a very difficult thing to do, especially with things like autism spectrum disorders since there's a lot of grey area and because especially in young children it can change as they grow up.

Basically, you don't have an autism spectrum disorder unless you both tick enough of the boxes and experience (severe) difficulties in your day to day life because of those things. Growing up, learning to deal with who you are and external influences can all change whether you experience difficulties or not.

Also relevant documentary:
#25 Mar 20 2013 at 4:08 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
I thought we called them Indigo Children or Crystal Children now to celebrate how they are actually gifted with paranormal New Age powers.


This is actually only true if they were born in the presence of a shamanic dolphin.
#26 Mar 20 2013 at 4:47 PM Rating: Decent
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I think that parents seem to think that any behavior at all is somehow "wrong" and requires some kind of adjustment.

This is a little overblown, but yes, it happens. It's important to remember that while there are "fix my not perfect child" parents, there are also people with children who don't start speaking or responding to visual cues until age 4, people with extremely violent toddlers, etc. Child mental illness is a real thing. Also, I wouldn't hang over-diagnosis completely on helicopter parents, this idea that child mental health clinicians are just exasperated and cave in to the demands of concerned parents is ********* There are many clinicians who feel pressured to diagnosis for a variety of reasons. Malpractice concerns, summer homes in the Hamptons, etc.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

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