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Omnibus Politics Thread: Campaign 2016 EditionFollow

#1727 Oct 19 2016 at 7:59 AM Rating: Excellent
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Trump's campaign is using the Gbaji Defense:
Kellyanne Conway wrote:
She has so many advantages. She has endless money. She’s got a lot of the media. She has a very popular president and first lady campaigning for her… I will tell you, I am mystified as to why she can’t get to those 52, 53 percent numbers in some of these states given the disadvantages we’re handed every day.

"She's not winning by a million thousand points so she's not really winning!"
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#1728 Oct 19 2016 at 8:31 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Kellyanne Conway wrote:
She's got a lot of the media.
I guess if you discount the millions upon millions of basically free advertising that Trump gets on everything from the major news outlets to public access shows.
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#1729 Oct 19 2016 at 8:44 AM Rating: Excellent
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I like her saying that Clinton has "endless money" as she runs against a billionaire who has maybe given half of the $100mil he promised to his campaign.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#1730 Oct 19 2016 at 8:47 AM Rating: Excellent
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Trump didn't get where he is today by spending all his money on lost causes like his presidential campai-

Oh, he did? ****, never mind then.
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#1731 Oct 19 2016 at 9:20 AM Rating: Good
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That's not fair. Who could have possibly foreseen that mail-order steaks was a bad idea?
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#1732 Oct 19 2016 at 9:52 AM Rating: Good
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Since no one seems to have mentioned it, this made me spontaneously break out in musical theater.

Quote:
DONALD J. TRUMP’S FIVE-POINT PLAN FOR ETHICS REFORM

“It’s Time To Drain The Swamp In Washington, D.C. That’s Why I’m Proposing A Package Of Ethics Reforms To Make Our Government Honest Once Again.” - Donald J. Trump


First: I am going to re-institute a 5-year ban on all executive branch officials lobbying the government for 5 years after they leave government service. I am going to ask Congress to pass this ban into law so that it cannot be lifted by executive order.

Second: I am going to ask Congress to institute its own 5-year ban on lobbying by former members of Congress and their staffs.

Third: I am going to expand the definition of lobbyist so we close all the loopholes that former government officials use by labeling themselves consultants and advisors when we all know they are lobbyists.

Fourth: I am going to issue a lifetime ban against senior executive branch officials lobbying on behalf of a foreign government.

Fifth: I am going to ask Congress to pass a campaign finance reform that prevents registered foreign lobbyists from raising money in American elections.

Not only will we end our government corruption, but we will end the economic stagnation.


Edit: Also, lulz occurred when the DNC bus spewed **** on the streets of Lawrenceville, GA.

Edited, Oct 19th 2016 9:55am by Poldaran
#1733 Oct 19 2016 at 10:28 AM Rating: Excellent
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Well, the nine people who are voting based on lobbyist reform platforms in this election will have a lot to think about in the coming weeks.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#1734 Oct 19 2016 at 10:33 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Well, the nine people who are voting based on lobbyist reform platforms in this election will have a lot to think about in the coming weeks.
Don't forget the Green Party environuts, you Liberal Shitlord.

Because poop jokes are the height of comedy. Or at least, they won't get 200 people to stand up and leave your comedy show.
#1735 Oct 19 2016 at 10:48 AM Rating: Decent
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Please, like platforms matter to anyone even vaguely paying attention to the Green Party mooks.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#1736 Oct 19 2016 at 11:42 AM Rating: Decent
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There are platforms in this election?
#1737 Oct 19 2016 at 12:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Or at least, they won't get 200 people to stand up and leave your comedy show.

Joke's on them; she gets to keep the money anyway Smiley: laugh
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#1738 Oct 19 2016 at 12:07 PM Rating: Excellent
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Yodabunny wrote:
There are platforms in this election?

NYT asks both candidates three questions. One answers as though they know something about the issues. One answers like they're doing their homework on the bus right before school.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#1739 Oct 19 2016 at 2:54 PM Rating: Excellent
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Yodabunny wrote:
There are platforms in this election?


No, no, no, this election is a first person shooter!
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Dandruffshampoo wrote:
Curses, beaten by Professor stupidopo-opo.
Annabella, Goblin in Disguise wrote:
Stupidmonkey is more organized than a bag of raccoons.
#1740 Oct 19 2016 at 7:58 PM Rating: Good
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Is anyone else watching the debate?
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Dandruffshampoo wrote:
Curses, beaten by Professor stupidopo-opo.
Annabella, Goblin in Disguise wrote:
Stupidmonkey is more organized than a bag of raccoons.
#1741 Oct 19 2016 at 7:59 PM Rating: Good
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Professor stupidmonkey wrote:
Is anyone else watching the debate?


Ya. Trump started "OK' but it seems like that was just cause he wasn't talking.
As soon as he started talking, it was the usual.

Edit:
Nothing unexpected. Donald spent a lot of time on his rigged election and whether or not he'll support the election results. Probably earning points with his followers, but don't see how it will help him in the general.

Edited, Oct 19th 2016 10:38pm by TirithRR
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#1742 Oct 19 2016 at 9:12 PM Rating: Excellent
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Trump managed to take a passable debate performance and make it 100% all about his refusal to accept the election results. Also, he totally rescued Clinton on the Clinton Foundation question by stepping all over her answer with some nonsense rambling and running out the clock. So, uh, nice strategy.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#1743 Oct 19 2016 at 11:04 PM Rating: Good
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Speaking of Debate scandals...
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Just as Planned.
#1744 Oct 20 2016 at 7:59 AM Rating: Good
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TirithRR wrote:
Donald spent a lot of time on his rigged election and whether or not he'll support the election results.
Well, calling it rigged got him this far.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#1745 Oct 20 2016 at 9:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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For how certain he is it's rigged he's sure spending a lot of time and energy on it. It must be some nice free advertising and all, but you'd think there's a point where you just give the radio station a few bucks and have them talk about your hotel chain or whatever it is people do these days.
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#1746 Oct 20 2016 at 9:35 AM Rating: Excellent
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Anything that ends with "I don't know how long the statue of limitations is on that" is probably going to end well. Smiley: lol

Throwaway accounts dude, seriously... Smiley: oyvey
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That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#1747 Oct 20 2016 at 11:46 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Please, like platforms matter to anyone even vaguely paying attention to the Green Party mooks.

I was referencing the DNC shitbus, not the platform on that one. And that had like 90k views on Facebook where I saw it. Which totally feels like where the Greens are getting their news.
#1748 Oct 20 2016 at 11:57 AM Rating: Excellent
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There and NatureNews.com

Bets on whether or not Ryan will be Speaker next session? I don't know that he will be even if Republicans keep the house (which they almost certainly will).
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#1749 Oct 20 2016 at 12:17 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Bets on whether or not Ryan will be Speaker next session?
In a just society everyone that let this election cycle happen would be put on a bus and driven off a short pier. That being said, Ryan'll keep being the Speaker so long as he wants to and doesn't voluntarily step down.

Trump just released a statement about, to absolutely no one's surprise, how he'll accept the election results next month if he wins.

Edited, Oct 20th 2016 3:06pm by lolgaxe
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George Carlin wrote:
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#1750 Oct 20 2016 at 5:12 PM Rating: Good
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A lot of Trump people I know are really setting themselves up for disappointment in much the same way they did for Mitt Romney. It just dawned on me just how close election day is now. I can just imagine all of their faces when they realize their hero has fallen, or just at the moment when the results start to roll in and they begin to realize Hillary has won, yet continue to hold onto hope until the very end-- or rather, weeks later. They'll dream up all kinds of fantasies about how they can get Hillary arrested or disqualified somehow, really stupid and petty ones only their minds are capable of producing.
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#1751 Oct 21 2016 at 7:41 AM Rating: Good
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cnn wrote:
No one would confuse Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton for happy warriors.

The rivals showed up Thursday night at a fabled staging post on the final stretch of presidential campaigns -- the Al Smith charity dinner in New York.

Smith, the former New York governor and 1928 Democratic presidential nominee, was once dubbed the "happy warrior of the political battlefield" by Franklin Roosevelt.

But Trump and Clinton looked anything but happy when they limped off the 2016 campaign trail Thursday night.

They struggled to disguise the anger, bitterness and sheer open dislike that has pulsed through their recriminatory White House race, perhaps not surprisingly since he has threatened to throw her in jail and she says he's a threat to the republic.

An evening known for sharp humor that often goes right up to the line but rarely crosses it quickly degenerated into an uncomfortable experience. They just imported the acrimony of Wednesday night's debate to a new venue.

In short, the evening became an apt metaphor for the campaign.

Neither candidate seemed at ease or performed particularly well -- after all, they are the most unpopular presidential hopefuls in recorded history.

But in the end, Trump seemed to come across as the more unacceptable -- and appeared to misjudge the tone of the evening worse than Clinton.

"Donald had some very solid minutes early on and eventually he crossed the line and took it a little too far," Al Smith V, whose family hosts the dinner, said in an interview on CNN's "New Day" on Friday. "Hillary, on the other hand, was able to laugh at herself and at the same time not underplay any of the serious things Donald Trump has said or done,"

And everyone in attendance seemed to just want it to be over, much as the nation seems desperate to rid itself of the ugliest presidential race in decades.

Thursday's dinner was notable because it lacked the genuine respect and even warmth that President Barack Obama and Republican nominee Mitt Romney showed when paying tribute to one another's families at the same event four years ago -- after throwing their jabs.

Political humor works best when there is at least some respect between the parties and everyone is in on the joke. It's especially important for the person doing the roasting to also turn the humor on themselves, otherwise the barbs can come across as too harsh.

Obama and President George W. Bush proved themselves to be particularly adept at this.

But Trump clearly didn't get the memo. Some of his jokes did hit the spot but many just seemed a little too cutting for the venue.

"We've learned so much from WikiLeaks. For example, Hillary believes that it is vital to deceive the people by having one public policy and a totally different policy in private," Trump said, drawing boos — which are unheard of at this annual event.

Trump said, "That's OK, I don't know who they're angry at, Hillary, you or I. For example, here she is tonight, in public, pretending not to hate Catholics."

Smith V said that joke changed the tone of the room.

"That's a tough crowd to drop that line in front of," Smith said. "To be honest with you, that certainly took the tone in a different direction, and you know, I think ultimately at the end of the day, that made things a lot harder for Hillary when, ultimately, she got the mic -- she had some funny things that she had said, and I don't think they got as many laughs as they could have because the tone in the room had shifted a bit."

Trump's appearance was much like his debate performance: He started off well, but seemed to run out of energy and momentum and get more and more hard-edged the longer he went on.

He did make several good cracks.

He said the former secretary of state had bumped into him backstage and said "pardon me."

And to be fair to Trump, it wasn't exactly a Republican crowd. The gaggle of rich New Yorkers from business, politics and the media, in ballgowns and white tie and tails could hardly be more different than blue-collar, white working-class crowds that have flocked to his outsider message.

But by the time he reached his last jokes, Trump had clearly lost the room.

"According to her sworn testimony, Hillary has forgotten more things than most of us will ever, ever know -- that I can tell you," Trump said.

"We're having some fun here tonight," he deadpanned with all the enthusiasm as someone experiencing root canal surgery.

Clinton cut less close to the bone than Trump, but her speech also seemed to lack the generosity the evening requires.

At least the former secretary of state did not take herself quite as seriously as Trump.

"This is such a special event that I took a break from my rigorous nap schedule to be here," she said, referring to Trump's claim she lacks stamina.

Poking fun at the top-dollar fees that she racked up for corporate speeches, Clinton said: "It's a treat for all of you, too, because I charge a lot for speeches like this."

But Clinton is not a natural speechmaker — and her jokes sometimes came across as nakedly political.

Her best joke poked fun at Trump's attitude towards women — though given recent accusations against the GOP nominee might not have been in the best of taste.

"People look at the Statue of Liberty and they see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants. A beacon of hope for people around the world."

"Donald sees the Statue of Liberty and sees a 4. Maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and tablet and changes her hair," Clinton added.

Too soon?

In the end, the off-color evening will have little impact on the presidential race. It's probably too late after all, and no one is likely to be waiting to decide on their vote based on a tony dinner in Manhattan.

But like the election itself, it left a bad taste.

"2016 is now ruining everything in its wake," former top Mitt Romney aide Kevin Madden said on CNN Tonight with Don Lemon.

"We have the Al Smith dinner that is supposed to be about collegiality and supposed to be about charity and they left a chill in the room."
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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